Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Im part way to drunk.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
