I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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