i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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