I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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