I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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