I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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