So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need water and some morals
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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