your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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