Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
you never un-have a 4some
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize