i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
