my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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