I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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