i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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