Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
