Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
