I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
