I don't think brook has ever known best
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
