I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He shit in the fireplace
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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