I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
