I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
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He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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