I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
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How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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