My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
