Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
