the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
