Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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