Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
