If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The Olympian is in my bed
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
