soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
