I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
