Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I came so hard my ears popped.
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