the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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