She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
