can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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