so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
