What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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