16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?