you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
