the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He better not be in your backpack
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
