I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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