All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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