To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
