we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
