I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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