you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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