she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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