ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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