Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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