he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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