no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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