I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
