All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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