Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize