Someone shit on the floor
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
