dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
