also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
