Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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